1. United States
2. Fla.
3. Letter

I just wanted to extend my deepest gratitude for the brilliant economic strategy of slapping tariffs on everything in sight. Watching the stock market tank and Americans’ retirement accounts shrink has been a truly unforgettable experience. Nothing says "winning" quite like seeing 401(k)s evaporate while prices skyrocket. It’s honestly impressive how you all managed to turn “America First” into “Americans Last.” Who knew that making everything more expensive while triggering trade wars would somehow hurt the economy? Oh wait—literally every economist. But hey, what do they know? They didn’t have the foresight to bankrupt a casino. I especially appreciate how retirees and hardworking families now get to rethink their entire futures because of these brilliant policies. Maybe working until 85 just builds character. Maybe ramen noodles are the new retirement meal plan. Either way, I’m sure the billionaires will get their tax breaks, so all is well! Keep up the great work. I look forward to your next stroke of economic genius. Sincerely, [A Citizen Who Apparently Didn’t Bet on Gold Soon Enough]