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An Open Letter

To: V.P. Vance

From: A verified voter in Zebulon, NC

March 30

Just curious, where do I get one of them major degrees I seen ya blabbering about to the farmers?? I’d love to learn me how to drive a tractor. You sure do love that ballroom don’t ya? Never heard a straight man talk so much about ballrooms, have you? Funny.

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