1. United States
2. Texas
3. Letter

The world’s on fire—and Trump’s out here giggling about erections. At a flagpole ceremony. At the White House. During a global crisis. He’s asking construction workers if they’re “illegal,” bragging about his 100-foot poles, and making middle school jokes while the planet braces for war. Meanwhile, his favorite phrase? “In two weeks.” Two weeks for Iran. Two weeks for Ukraine. Two weeks for healthcare. Two weeks for whatever he’s pretending to care about. He’s not hoping to fix anything. He’s just hoping we forget. Well, we haven’t. And if two weeks is all he ever gives us, maybe it’s time we give it right back. Hand him his two-week notice. America needs a president—not a punchline.