My God Bless the U.S.A. Bible you sold me is defective.

I hope this letter finds you well. I recently purchased the Trump Bible, expecting it to reflect true American values, but I think mine is broken. For example, Leviticus 19:34 says: “The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt.” That can’t be right! You’ve made it clear that immigrants are invaders, and called certain countries “shitholes.” Surely, a Trump-approved Bible should correct this nonsense. Then I found Matthew 25:40, which says: “Whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” That’s strange, because you recently called homeless camps in D.C. “unsightly” and ordered their removal. (nypost.com) If Jesus wanted us to help “the least of these,” why didn’t He propose a clean-up operation instead? And then there’s Proverbs 27:2: “Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips.” That contradicts your very stable genius wisdom: “I’m, like, a really smart person.” “I alone can fix it.” Humility? Come on! If humility mattered, why would there be golden statues of you in Trump resorts or a golden toilet in your penthouse? (fortune.com) But the biggest error in my copy? Genesis 1:26-27: “So God created man in His own image… male and female He created THEM.” THEM?! This sounds like woke pronoun propaganda. The Trump Bible should fix this mistake ASAP before it’s too late. However—credit where credit is due—at least your Bible removes Amendments 11-27 from the U.S. Constitution. Finally, we don’t have to read about abolishing slavery (13th), giving Black people and women the right to vote (15th & 19th), or limiting a president to two terms (22nd). These woke ideas were just taking up space! Who needs equal protection and voting rights anyway? The Bill of Rights was enough—why keep adding protections for people who probably don’t vote for you anyway? Mr. President, I need a refund. Or at least a replacement copy that reflects your teachings. Please let me know where I can find one that’s MAGA-approved. Really, really looking forward to 2028!