Bad news, buddy. Pork is on recall. That means you gotta go, little piggy.

Ah- what a wonderful day to be alive! Checked on my neighbors and ICE hasn’t found them yet, so that’s good. Checked the pantry- yup, stocked on canned goods in case you put more tariffs on more items that we already can barely afford. Called my cousin to make sure she still lives on the Gulf of MEXICO (she does) and if her neighbors still call it that (they do!). Checked on gas prices to make sure I still can’t afford to drive down the shore (I can’t). Signed into the World Wide Web to determine if there’s any new outbreaks I should be aware of yet (there is!). And then of course I logged into the ever growing crowd sourced list of recalls (because you defunded the FDA) and found out pork is now on the no-no report… so… I guess that means you, too? Ah… go along little piggy. You’ve been recalled. Get out.