1. United States
2. Texas
3. Letter

With Easter approaching, I can’t help but wonder—when families gather to celebrate, will we be pulling aside anyone with a STAR, ROSE, or CROWN TATTOO and asking for their immigration papers? After all, recent reports suggest these symbols are NOW GROUNDS FOR DETAINMENT AND DEPORTATION. For reference, here’s what’s apparently now considered “gang-related” ink: • STARS ON THE SHOULDER (Psalm 147:4 – “He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.”) • CROWNS (James 1:12 – “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life.”) • ROSES, JAGUARS, or TIGERS (Song of Solomon 2:1 – “I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys.”) • PHRASES LIKE “REAL HASTA LA MUERTE” (Revelation 2:10 – “Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life.”) So, if this logic applies, I assume we’ll be running TATTOO BACKGROUND CHECKS on every pastor, church deacon, and congressional family member before Easter brunch. Maybe even a SPECIAL SCREENING FOR DOGE EMPLOYEES—wouldn’t want government staff ACCIDENTALLY MISTAKEN FOR CRIMINALS just because they have a little ink. I look forward to hearing how we’re ensuring fairness in this process. Until then, I’ll be praying no one in your family has a TATTOO THEY’LL HAVE TO EXPLAIN OVER HAM AND DEVILED EGGS—so you don’t end up deporting them to El Salvador.