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An Open Letter

To: Pres. Trump, Rep. Foster, Rep. Keicher, Sen. Duckworth, Sen. Syverson, Gov. Pritzker, Sen. Durbin

From: A constituent in Hampshire, IL

September 28

Dear My Public Servants, I’m so terribly happy that, in addition to using my tax dollars to enrich his friends and ill-begotten spawn, the Great Orange Pedophile is now using them to air commercials. If it would be more convenient for you blood suckers to get more of my money to support arches and ballrooms and gilded loos, let me know and I’ll just set up a connection from my accounts to yours. Presumably because no Democrat has bothered to do anything substantive to stop Mango Mussolini, you must approve. And I know, it’s very inconvenient to be called upon to fulfill your oath and do whatever it takes to defend the Constitution against corruption and fascism, so I apologize for interrupting your navel gazing.

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